It's been a little while since my last post. Mostly due to the fact that school has started and I'm bogged down with what seems like an encyclopedia's worth of reading to do. I am on mental and spiritual overload already and it's only the second week! It has been quite the spiritual roller coaster lately. Some days I hear God speaking to me clearly and feel the presence of the Holy Spirit all around! Other days it seems I'm continuously under attack or I feel completely cold. It has caused me to reach out, not only to God, but to those around me as well. It seems that my experience is not all that unique and that others who have been through it are more than willing to encourage me. I have been learning so much inside and outside of class.
I called this post "What Is the Truth" for a reason. I don't say it in the sense that I am doubting or having a crisis of faith. On the contrary, I have been asking myself how much of God I may be missing out on due to weak or immature faith. Jesus said that faith the size of a mustard seed could move mountains and uproot trees on command. I started thinking "How literally could this be taken?" There seem to be so many conflicting messages on this subject that it's hard to ask for a miracle with much confidence of it actually happening. How do I realize the full extent of the Holy Spirit working in my life? As I think about my future on the mission field, I know I'm gonna need all the supernatural help I can get. How much will my doubt rob me of receiving? Are Christians only as powerful as I have seen or is there more?
I brought this up to Michelle this passed Sunday. I asked her how much God would work supernaturally through a believer if they only could get passed their doubt (or something to that effect). Peter could have walked on water, the Disciples could have healed the epileptic, ect... Later, in the Sunday evening service, the Pastor preached on that very topic. Today in chapel, the same topic was addressed again. We should be living with the expectation of miracles. God wants to be glorified through what He does through us when things seem impossible. Isnt' that precisely what He did through Gideon? I don't remember reading anywhere in the Bible that God would hold back from those seeking Him. I think I have a lot to learn and a long, hard road ahead but I intend to let God show me the FULL extent that he wants to work through me. It's going to be a maturing process (for which I'm long overdue) but I'm excited to see what the outcome will be. Feel free to comment on this. I want to hear what others think.
It sounds like you are doing your part according to the scriptures. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and ALL these things will be added unto you." We have not cuz we ask not. He wants to pour His blessings on us. They are ours for the taking. It is one of the perks of being a child of God. It is in Giving that we recieve. I give Him all the glory for His many blessings. Stay strong in your faith and believe and know that He will provide. It's in His timing. He knows what is good for us.
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